Another way to love

Well, Janice...
If you are reading this mean that my birthday has already over...
I keep this blog as a secret as long as I can...
This time I don't want anyone to know what am I thinking...
But one thing can be very obvious...
I really miss you...
There is a lot of question pop out in my mind just right after I say give up
Why must I give up ?
I not really sure but I am sure I will regret...
What I going to do without you ?
I don't even dare to think about it...
How am I going to face you ?
That is the question that trouble me...
I really don't know what to do
Maybe I really fall in love or something
Maybe for this time...
It's real...
I really love you
I mean,not like but love...
Well,this is the first time that I trying to know every little thing of a girl
Not even my first I did care that much
I can't go on...without you...
I don't want to leave you
I wanna be with you
I don't to be hate by you
I don't want you hold other boys hand
I don't want you being too close to other boys
I don't want you ignore me
I don't want you don't made fun of me
I don't want you...don't be my girlfriend...
I don't want you...Don't love me....